Regina (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} puppetoflove) wrote,@ 2007-01-07 22:31:00 |
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| Current mood: |  weird |
| Current music: | The Girls Next Door is valid TV. |
Monkey. Knife. Fight.
First, we must turn our attention to the current Television Hair Matrix:
Certainly, it's some stiff yet springy competition.
Kyle Chandler's Hair emerges DEFEATED. It's not a reflection on you, Kyle Chandler's Hair. Conan O'Brien's Hair is just inhumanly magnificent. Cresting and falling like a glorious crimson wave, you get the feeling that there's nothing it can't do. And really, is that so far from the truth? But fear not, Kyle Chandler's Hair, for there is hope for you against even this most worthy of a foe. Perhaps you should try your follicles in the international political arena.
Kyle Chandler's Hair emerges VICTORIOUS. Have mercy, indeed, Uncle Jesse's Hair. Have mercy on yourself, and see this not as defeat, but as a passing of the proverbial torch. It's true that Kyle Chandler's Hair is not a magnificent mulletted mane, but, well . . .look at it, Uncle Jesse's Hair. Look at Kyle Chandler's Hair with pride, and teach it the ways of Hair Domination.
Kyle Chandler's Hair emerges VICTORIOUS. It's true that Kyle Chandler's Hair doesn't have the comedic chops of Jason Bateman's Hair, but it does have the same rakish charm. Indeed, let us not fight, tender follicles. Instead, we must strike a friendship based on the mutual despair of having a low rated but critically acclaimed television shows and being really, really hot. Take comfort, as well, Jason Bateman's Hair. This is not a battle of Body Hair. In that arena, you remain eternally victorious, my dear Teen Wolf Too.
Kyle Chandler's Hair emerges AMICABLY DRAWN. One can't discount Peter Gallagher's Hair. Certainly against Peter Gallagher's Eyebrows no man can win, but Peter Gallagher's Hair is its own Goliath. Charming, expressive, Jewish. What more can one ask from hair? However, Peter Gallagher's Hair must, inevitably, take a backseat to Peter Gallagher's Eyebrows, thus leaving room for Kyle Chandler's Hair to share in its glory.
Kyle Chandler's Hair emerges VICTORIOUS. Let it never be said that Nathan Fillion's Hair is not a gentleman. It is understandably disappointed, as Nathan Fillion's Hair is Space Hair, and thus immune to most landlocked challengers. However, Nathan Fillion's Hair can't be angry. It can only be impressed, and more than a bit aroused, by the impressive moxie shown by Kyle Chandler's Hair.
Kyle Chandler's Hair emerges VICTORIOUS. Quiet your bitter sobs, Patrick Dempsey's Hair. You made a valiant effort, and for a time were victorious in masking your host's other shortcomings. You had a good run. You were admired, respected, blogged about. But there comes a point in every Hair's life when it must acquiesce to the next generation of glorious hair. Also, Kyle Chandler's Hair doesn't have Patrick Dempsey holding it down, so you really had no chance.
What have we learned, gentle reader? We've learned that Kyle Chandler's Hair has managed to steam roll over four of today's current TV hair kings. I'd say the magnificently maned Mr. Glover may want to watch his back.
